This one is for the prudish bitches out there. You know who you are.

I love it when chicks that follow that fat slug of a bitch Oprah Winfrey tell me that girls don’t actually do this sort of thing. Really, bitch? Well, I have news for you! Unpretentious babes like Sasha Blonde do this sort of thing when they are alone. They look like heaven on Earth and they enjoy getting all slutted up in lingerie even when nobody else is around!

Proof? I have dated so many young babes and all of them had some pretty amazing masturbation stories for me. Turkey basters, bath faucets, shower massagers, brush handles, vibrating toothbrushes, pillow humping, stuffed bear humping, magic markers, hot tub jets, the list goes on!

So you see you fat slug, bitch, whore? Your man is checking out young porn because girls like Sasha Blonde do indeed exist and they are all over the place. They look just like anybody else. They have normal jobs. They have NORMAL LIVES!

So stop your yammering and shove that dildo up your snatch already!